As you all know I love nothing more than "real stories". Here is the latest "real story" from Shawn McDonald. I share his passion for coffee, or I should say the smell of coffee. I produce caffeine naturally:). I used to make coffee in the mornings just for the smell of it. I don't anymore, but I still love the smell of freshly roasted coffee beans. I wish someone would bottle it in a parfume bottle along with newborn baby smell. Heaven on earth!!!!
I pray that your answer to the question would resonate with your heart and soul. And if not, I pray that you'd start talking to Jesus about it. Love you all deeply!!
Decaf or Regular?
That is the question. Maybe you hate coffee and would say neither. I love coffee so this is something I would think about. I love going to a coffee shop and crawling up in a soft chair, having a cup of joe, while reading a good book. I love this and would consider this as time well spent. I love drinking coffee. I would say my love started in college when I was tired and needed a pick me up and so I would get a good cup of coffee to help me fight my ever so sleepy mind. And well it quite never has gone away. I worked as a barista for about 6 years of my life, even worked at a roaster for a while. I would say those were some of my favorite jobs. I love getting to know about coffee and where is came from. I now roast my own coffee in the quite of my home. Maybe it is the love of it or the fact of saying I roast my own, or what ever but I do and love it never the less.Now I write about this cause as I have been thinking about it, but feel God has taken it further in my mind. To say, am I “decaf or regular”?
Let me explain.You hear stories all the time about how something was suppose to be organic or healthy but then some one questioned it, did the research and found it to be not true. Maybe it was a friend or family member of yours that was claiming to not be something, but in that claim you found out that what they were claiming to be was the very thing they weren’t. Maybe even in your self you desire to be something, but have come to the knowledge that you aren’t what you so want to say you are. Maybe you have even said you were that. Today I watched and elderly couple order coffee and when receiving it they looked at the side of the cup and saw it said decaf, and then went on there marry little way. Trusting that it was. Now the barista could have played a cruel joke and wrote decaf but instead they could have put in regular and sent this happy little Elderly couple on a caffeine rush of their lives. Maybe even put it in on accident. Either way the couple would have received something they didn’t order.
Have you ever received something you didn’t order? I know I have. I have gone to taco bell before, ordered a chicken taco and received beef. Yuck beef, come on I ordered chicken. It makes you angry and rightly so because you paid for one thing and got something totally different. But that is life. Sometimes we get things we didn’t order. Sometimes we give things that weren’t ordered from us. And so goes the story of imperfection. So let me now take this back to decaf or regular. Sometimes I claim to be decaf but in reality I am regular or vise versa. Sometimes what I give to people is not who I am. God has been unraveling this truth about my self. Do your insides match your out sides? Sometimes we think we have it all together but in reality we have nothing together. I guess what I am trying to say is that I have lived in false places and thought It was alright to live there cause no one really knew the truth about me, and as long as they believed differently, then it was alright. The beauty of God is that He sees right threw us and that He loves us enough to call our bluff. But not only calling our bluff, but also helping walk out of it to truly be what we claim to be. To truly be healed.
I am taking time off from music not just because I want to spend time with my family, but more so that God has called me out of a bluff. Out of a life I was claiming was decaf but in reality it was regular. I don’t know that I will ever come back to music being that it is a hard life to live and be healthy. It just is. I just know that I can’t lead people out of what I myself haven’t been lead out of, and in so say I am taking time to truly find the life God has called me to. To truly find my heart and to one day be able to come back and say that what I am is TRULY what I am. I don’t feel the need to go into great details about this but I hope that there will be a place and time for that. I do love what I do and love to make music. It is one of my greatest passions and I hope that God continues to create in me, a new song. I claim to love God! There is no way around it, therefore I must do what it takes to make sure that my heart is real, that my love is real. And not just something I speak. One of the greatest tragedies of life is that we claim with our mouths one thing, but our lives prove something entirely different. Walk with me as I am choosing to follow Jesus and make my life match His. I am just a man, who deserves nothing but death. But the beauty is that there is one worthy to be followed. His life matched his actions and gave us hope for something truer than our self.
Follow Jesus with me.
By Shawn McDonald
January 27, 2008
January 21, 2008
Hiding in Jesus
Last night Jesus and I were recapping this past year. The end of the old season and the intro of the new for the New Year. I asked Him where He was leading me. And of course with Him I have to go back so I can move forward. This past season was filled with so much joy and good times. Times that make you smile:). Also, there were times of trial and heartache. Times that at the time you wish didn’t have to go through, times of utter disappointments. Disappointments one wishes were never experienced. Trust never betrayed. The kind that you don’t want to lose its innocence. Times that marked history and are going to affect generations to come. Doesn't that sound just regular every day life?!
And I have discovered that in times like these Jesus is my hiding place. For me it has become the safest place on earth. To many people, the silence accompanied with this kind of hiding might be considered avoidance, shame, guilt etc. Hiding in Jesus means standing on His truth not fighting the world or running from it. I have learned that only when I quite my heart and stay silent God’s voice can be heard. And I am telling you, it ECHOES! It allows God to be God. Hiding in Him has led me to discover His gracious love all over again. All the pain experienced is worth it in His presence for His purposes. This kind of hiding yields to obedience that doesn’t seek approval of the world but only Jesus'. We can’t fight the world, but He can make it bow down to Him. Have you ever thought of Jesus not as just Holy, All Knowing, All Mighty etc...but as "cutting edge"?!(I am going to have to expand on that in another blog)
Hiding in Jesus helps me "process" the events as I surrender them to Him. And processing sometimes makes the world feel uncomfortable, especially when it doesn’t fit its little box, thus “labels” were invented. When our understanding fails us we tend to "label" everything so it can all fit nicely in our little boxes. He is the only one who can truly and fully know and understand our hearts. Hiding in Him helps us to know the depths of His heart. It has taught me that forgiveness is the closest hardest thing we will have to do in this life compared to the cross He carried for us. But compare to His sacrifice, it's the least we can do. It’s when we hide in Jesus that we find complete freedom. How is that for a paradox?!
No matter what circumstances you face today, my prayer is that you wont fight the world but instead submit to Jesus, hide in Him. Don’t be afraid!
Love you all deeply!
January 8, 2008
The Ultimate Blessing
The popular writer Frederica Mathewes-Green describes her own transformational encounter with Jesus in her book "At the Corner of East and Now". She was on her honeymoon in Europe and, at that time, considered herself a Hindu. Then she came upon a marble statue of Christ in one of the niches on a side wall of a church, and this is what happened:
"I was standing there looking at the statue, and then I discovered I was on my knees. I could hear an interior voice speaking to me. Not with my ears-it was more like a radio inside suddenly clicking on. The voice was both intimate and authoritative, and it filled me. It said, "I am your life. You think your life is your name, your personality, your history. But that is not your life. I am your life"...I stood up feeling pretty shaky. It was like sitting quietly in your living room and having the roof blown off...If someone has asked me a half hour earlier, I would have said I was not sure(Jesus) had ever lived. Yet here he was, and though I didn't know him, it seemed he already knew me, from the deepest inside out".
God doesn't need us to make Him known and bring about salvation. He chooses to do so! You are chosen! Live like it! Don't miss the ultimate blessing!
Love you all deeply!
"I was standing there looking at the statue, and then I discovered I was on my knees. I could hear an interior voice speaking to me. Not with my ears-it was more like a radio inside suddenly clicking on. The voice was both intimate and authoritative, and it filled me. It said, "I am your life. You think your life is your name, your personality, your history. But that is not your life. I am your life"...I stood up feeling pretty shaky. It was like sitting quietly in your living room and having the roof blown off...If someone has asked me a half hour earlier, I would have said I was not sure(Jesus) had ever lived. Yet here he was, and though I didn't know him, it seemed he already knew me, from the deepest inside out".
God doesn't need us to make Him known and bring about salvation. He chooses to do so! You are chosen! Live like it! Don't miss the ultimate blessing!
Love you all deeply!
January 6, 2008
...cont...
I smiled with a dazed look on my face and my heart answered Him. It’s LOVE. The kind that hurts when you hurt, smiles when you smile, delights in your presence, believes in you when you don’t. The kind that teaches you how to read, walk and talk and love. The kind that teaches you how to dream with your eyes open. The kind that looks into your eyes and sees the world. The kind of love that perseveres, trusts, and never fails. And He told me smiling back at me: “I knew”.
He knew the journey He had laid out for me would require this kind of foundation. He knew me before I was even conceived in my mother’s womb. He planed every detail of my childhood to prepare me for adulthood. He chose the parents and the family I have to prepare me for what was to come. He knew that life way from home would be anything but easy. He foresaw every circumstance and situation in advance and prepared the way. It would be full of loss, shattered dreams, rejection, pain, despair at times, pure joy, failures, rebellion, victories, he knew it all. He knew I could not just run home.
He asked me to leave my mother and father and follow Him. I left home at a very young age, continents away from everything dear and familiar. And He prepared the path. He gave me certain skills, convictions and passions because they were necessary to follow Him where He was leading. He knew what it would require. He chose my personality, my desires, my strengths and my weakness. They are all gifts from Him. And they are all good. Where I lack His grace abounds. He knew the cost of independence, the cost of what it would take. So, being All Knowing He provided. He gave me parents who loved and trusted me DEEPLY. Just like He does. Through them He has loved the deepest parts of me so faithfully even before I said yes to Him. Since the very day He thought to create me in my mother’s womb I belonged to Him.
He knew that I would need a very strong, special bond with Him. He truly does spoil me! He knew he would always be home to me and He has always been more than enough. I always run to Him with all my rebellion, anger, joy or happiness. He is safe just like home. And just like my earthly father, my Heavenly Father is very patient and tender and sweet, full of compassion. His kindness always leads me to repentance. And most of all He calls me by name. The sweetest sound!
Why do you love HIM?
What is your name? Is your name, Beloved, Redeemed, Broken, Dove, Rescued, Pursued, Delivered, Forgiven, His, Beautiful, Special? Do you know what that means to the core of you?
I love Him because He ever so deeply loved me first. And on my very best day I don’t deserve it. I follow Him because He gently leads me. He chose me first. My earthly father named and calls me Ejvis. One day my husband will give me his name. But my Heavenly Father will always call me Deeply Loved! And I truly am, thru and thru.
Would I do it all over again? In a heartbeat!
Love you all deeply!
Readings: Psalm 139
He knew the journey He had laid out for me would require this kind of foundation. He knew me before I was even conceived in my mother’s womb. He planed every detail of my childhood to prepare me for adulthood. He chose the parents and the family I have to prepare me for what was to come. He knew that life way from home would be anything but easy. He foresaw every circumstance and situation in advance and prepared the way. It would be full of loss, shattered dreams, rejection, pain, despair at times, pure joy, failures, rebellion, victories, he knew it all. He knew I could not just run home.
He asked me to leave my mother and father and follow Him. I left home at a very young age, continents away from everything dear and familiar. And He prepared the path. He gave me certain skills, convictions and passions because they were necessary to follow Him where He was leading. He knew what it would require. He chose my personality, my desires, my strengths and my weakness. They are all gifts from Him. And they are all good. Where I lack His grace abounds. He knew the cost of independence, the cost of what it would take. So, being All Knowing He provided. He gave me parents who loved and trusted me DEEPLY. Just like He does. Through them He has loved the deepest parts of me so faithfully even before I said yes to Him. Since the very day He thought to create me in my mother’s womb I belonged to Him.
He knew that I would need a very strong, special bond with Him. He truly does spoil me! He knew he would always be home to me and He has always been more than enough. I always run to Him with all my rebellion, anger, joy or happiness. He is safe just like home. And just like my earthly father, my Heavenly Father is very patient and tender and sweet, full of compassion. His kindness always leads me to repentance. And most of all He calls me by name. The sweetest sound!
Why do you love HIM?
What is your name? Is your name, Beloved, Redeemed, Broken, Dove, Rescued, Pursued, Delivered, Forgiven, His, Beautiful, Special? Do you know what that means to the core of you?
I love Him because He ever so deeply loved me first. And on my very best day I don’t deserve it. I follow Him because He gently leads me. He chose me first. My earthly father named and calls me Ejvis. One day my husband will give me his name. But my Heavenly Father will always call me Deeply Loved! And I truly am, thru and thru.
Would I do it all over again? In a heartbeat!
Love you all deeply!
Readings: Psalm 139
What is your name?
I have been reading different blogs for the past couple of weeks and I have to say you all are amazing writers. I am so glad you decided to write 'cause it has given me a chance to get to know not only your stories but your hearts as well. But the choice of your names or blog titles is the ones that have picked my interest the most. I wonder at times what led you to choose those particular names.
I have read some of your stories and you are truly my heroes for overcoming so much. My story is shaped by different struggles. I did not do drugs but I survived communism. I have never been drunk but I used to carry drinking water, it was rationed…I have done homework under candlelight because we had no electricity…some of the best story telling times ever…just to name a few. We all have experienced wounds, struggles, rebellion, anger, rejection, and failures. As Jesus himself wasn’t enough, God later on has blessed us all beyond measure with so much. He placed us all in different life circumstances, but our journeys were to lead to the same destination. Jesus.
As I was typing my personal information on my blog page it didn’t even occur to me to change my name. I thought my name is weird enough as it is. And then out of nowhere I typed Deeply Loved. Ok, I thought where did that come from? So, that led to another one of my Jesus talks. I asked Him if it meant anything or should I just dismiss it and go on typing. And all of a sudden He took me down memory lane. My childhood flashed right in front of me, just like in a slide show and slide after slide I saw precious memories of my life. As we went through each slide down memory lane He asked me “what do you see”?
to be cont....
I have read some of your stories and you are truly my heroes for overcoming so much. My story is shaped by different struggles. I did not do drugs but I survived communism. I have never been drunk but I used to carry drinking water, it was rationed…I have done homework under candlelight because we had no electricity…some of the best story telling times ever…just to name a few. We all have experienced wounds, struggles, rebellion, anger, rejection, and failures. As Jesus himself wasn’t enough, God later on has blessed us all beyond measure with so much. He placed us all in different life circumstances, but our journeys were to lead to the same destination. Jesus.
As I was typing my personal information on my blog page it didn’t even occur to me to change my name. I thought my name is weird enough as it is. And then out of nowhere I typed Deeply Loved. Ok, I thought where did that come from? So, that led to another one of my Jesus talks. I asked Him if it meant anything or should I just dismiss it and go on typing. And all of a sudden He took me down memory lane. My childhood flashed right in front of me, just like in a slide show and slide after slide I saw precious memories of my life. As we went through each slide down memory lane He asked me “what do you see”?
to be cont....
January 5, 2008
Dependant Independence
Jesus and I have been talking a lot about paradoxes today. I love how God uses them to entice our imagination or curiosity. It always leads us to discovery. Of what exactly?! He usually goes to great lengths, at least with me to give me the adventure of a lifetime and keep me engaged and excited, in a way entertain me with my own self-discovery if you will. Yes, I like to be entertained and I make due when lacking:). Indiana Jones can’t have all the fun! Here are a few paradoxes: die that you might live, God in the flesh, give that you might receive etc…what about dependant independence?
I thought about that today as I read a friend’s blog. What she had to say really hit the spot. I wondered why her blog worked. I have read so many GREAT ones already. Perhaps, it was her love. It was ever so humbly and simply offered. It was raw not gourmet. There was no demand or imposition. Only undeserving gratitude towards her Master and others. Or maybe because her limitations were a gift from God and I could relate or maybe because I ALWAYS respond to a gentle spirit. I think all of the above would suffice. But I am forever grateful for her faithful tenderness. That’s how she ministers to my heart. Her tenderness always leads me to respond to my Master. It doesn’t demand or impose. It gently leads. What a gift!
I think this was her first blog of sharing some of her journey. And I know, it did take obedience on her part to decide to share some of it with us. There is always cost associated with obedience but its fruit is much, much sweeter. Her obedience to do so, led me to obedience. So I can’t help but wonder about dependant independence and the paradox that I find it to be by definition alone. I think God (mind you, God can do just fine without either one of us) was waiting on her obedience so I would be led to respond to Him, and by default continue to lead another person, known or unknown to me, to respond to Him and that person does the same and so the dependant independence is birthed. That, I believe, is only because we are always dependant on God and thus each other. I think it all started with Eve’s rebellion, or “independence” if you will.
I wonder what our world would look like if we all obeyed. Maybe there would be less turmoil, poverty, sickness, war or pain. Ah, the latter! Why is the source of it such a good excuse to justify the “independent” results of it?! I wonder what our communities, our families, our friendships, our inner selves would look like if we obeyed our Maker on the “spot”. It makes me wonder about His “plan” for me and what part it plays in His Kingdom Plan. I wonder what we could do with all the saved or not wasted time of “independence”. Isn’t time we always complain we have so little of?! Maybe Jesus would come much, much sooner and take us home. And I like the latter as my favorite alternative. I can’t wait to see Him! And I am thankful I got to obey today. Pray for tomorrow.
Love you all deeply!
Coming soon L…ha, got to come back to find out:)
View her blog at http://www.myspace.com/jenniferdalenehart
I thought about that today as I read a friend’s blog. What she had to say really hit the spot. I wondered why her blog worked. I have read so many GREAT ones already. Perhaps, it was her love. It was ever so humbly and simply offered. It was raw not gourmet. There was no demand or imposition. Only undeserving gratitude towards her Master and others. Or maybe because her limitations were a gift from God and I could relate or maybe because I ALWAYS respond to a gentle spirit. I think all of the above would suffice. But I am forever grateful for her faithful tenderness. That’s how she ministers to my heart. Her tenderness always leads me to respond to my Master. It doesn’t demand or impose. It gently leads. What a gift!
I think this was her first blog of sharing some of her journey. And I know, it did take obedience on her part to decide to share some of it with us. There is always cost associated with obedience but its fruit is much, much sweeter. Her obedience to do so, led me to obedience. So I can’t help but wonder about dependant independence and the paradox that I find it to be by definition alone. I think God (mind you, God can do just fine without either one of us) was waiting on her obedience so I would be led to respond to Him, and by default continue to lead another person, known or unknown to me, to respond to Him and that person does the same and so the dependant independence is birthed. That, I believe, is only because we are always dependant on God and thus each other. I think it all started with Eve’s rebellion, or “independence” if you will.
I wonder what our world would look like if we all obeyed. Maybe there would be less turmoil, poverty, sickness, war or pain. Ah, the latter! Why is the source of it such a good excuse to justify the “independent” results of it?! I wonder what our communities, our families, our friendships, our inner selves would look like if we obeyed our Maker on the “spot”. It makes me wonder about His “plan” for me and what part it plays in His Kingdom Plan. I wonder what we could do with all the saved or not wasted time of “independence”. Isn’t time we always complain we have so little of?! Maybe Jesus would come much, much sooner and take us home. And I like the latter as my favorite alternative. I can’t wait to see Him! And I am thankful I got to obey today. Pray for tomorrow.
Love you all deeply!
Coming soon L…ha, got to come back to find out:)
View her blog at http://www.myspace.com/jenniferdalenehart
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